It is 2013, and that means a time for new beginnings and new endeavors. While 2013 is technically not a new beginning, it is a chance to start over fresh in order to reinvent yourself for the better and to move forward; I plan to accomplish many things with this fresh start.
2012 was a huge year for me as far as finding out who I am and solving a lot of my own personal problems. During this year I had to deal with many hardships that were new to me, old demons coming out of my closet, and a great many people came in as well as out of my life. It is safe to say that 2012 was probably the year that I made the most significant changes of my entire life, both for the better and for the worse. I realized exactly who I am and what was hindering me, while I did not do it in time to save some very important relationships I chose instead to learn from the loss and to better myself in order to honor their memory and in a way, truly say I am sorry for being the way I was.
The most important thing I learned in 2012 is relying on others for happiness and fulfillment will only result in you bearing too much of your burdens upon them, especially if you have more than platonic feelings for that person. You strain all your relationships simply because you are looking for something to fill that hole inside of yourself, something that you yourself need to overcome and it is impossible to do so without first evaluating the source of those problems; yourself. I had to deal with many issues and fears which caused me to be how I was, and I can truly say that is about over. I met one very special person close to the end of the year who has been such a great friend that she has literally changed my entire outlook on situations, and probably without even knowing it. While I did like her romantically I know she does not think of me that way but, for the first time I'm actually okay with that. One thing I've learned to accept is rejection and respect of other people's feelings and their boundaries and it feels good to me. I feel like the heavy burdens and weight I have had on my back since I could remember are finally free and I can move forward with a light load and only carry with me those good things, but keeping in mind what transformed me into a monstrous kettle of seething hate so it does not happen again.
[Inspired for 2013]
2013 is a brand new year and so I have many things I need to accomplish and keep my mind focus on. The first thing is now losing weight. I've begun to jog and walk regularly and exercise, and while I still have some bad eating habits I need to take care of I would say things are going good so far. Next thing I want to do is continue to work on my website RoKtheReaper.com and promote it to be better, and if not, at least to update it regularly. So far I have gotten off to a bit of a shaky start but I am doing a lot better than I did last year and my goal is to try and accelerate to 10,000 page views a month, which is double what I normally have (My regular page views seem to be about 250 a day, about 5,000 a month). As far as drawing goes, I want to either buy a new scanner or a tablet, I cannot figure out which one I will go with... but probably a new scanner and work on freehanding and getting better and get the tablet once I get to where I am comfortable.
2013 is going to be my best year ever.